Written by Kearin Green
In December last year, I wrote an article about my experiences of living with ADHD and ARFID. In the aftermath of writing the article, I felt grateful to receive positive responses from those around me who were able to relate to my experiences. I had felt nervous and hesitant about publishing the article and was afraid people would think I was throwing a pity party that I didn’t know I had thrown. When I began receiving messages from peers and friends saying that their journeys had gone similarly to mine, I felt proud of myself for what I had done, and my fears went away.
However, I decided instead of dropping off the boat after writing my struggle novella and ignoring every one of my family members who sent me a message- which included ‘omg well done’ and ‘you’re looking so skinny are you okay??’- I have decided to do something with releasing this information to the entire world (or 5 people, if we’re gonna be more realistic).
Since November, I have been seeing a dietician to help me correct my iron deficiency, avoid losing weight, be able to eat with less anxiety, and overall have a balanced diet according to what I enjoy eating and what doesn’t cause me sensory overload. I have learned things that have helped me approach eating with a different mindset and encourage recovery with my relationship with food.
Credit: Dee
The nutrition you find in fruits and vegetables comes in many other forms
For those with food sensory issues, fruits and vegetables are often an area of food which many are avoidant to or, in times of being selective about what they eat, tend to dismiss. The reason for me is that it’s too hard. Whether this makes sense or not, THIS IS JUST HOW IT FEELS. On my worst days with food, the food I find the least approachable will always be fruit and vegetables. I have now been able to settle on my easiest fruit to access, being grapes. However, it’s not always this easy and, although fruits and vegetables are always a benefit, there are other types of food where you can get the nutrients you need, which are easier to eat.
As well as learning this from my dietitian, I have also been following Instagram accounts run by dietitians who specialise in eating disorders and ARFID as a plus. Lauren Sharifi, an American doctor who specialises specifically in ARFID, runs @arfid.dietitian on Instagram and perhaps is my favourite ARFID-related account to follow. In the past, she has acknowledged this notion as fact and has provided a variety of examples of where to get these nutrients. Some prime examples include carbohydrates from cereal, waffles, and bread, and proteins from eggs, kidney beans and fruit juice.
Image via @arfid.dietitian
Finding extra energy in small things
I would describe my dietitian as extremely progressive with her views and approach to eating that isn’t rooted in toxic diet culture laws. For many people with ARFID, calories and body image are often not the cause of their restrictive intake with food, with texture aversion, dislike of food and being overwhelmed by the process of eating playing a large role in the disorder. The sensory element is why so many people who suffer from ARFID are neurodivergent.
In my experience with ARFID, the amount of food I consumed on a daily basis decreased as my problems increased and I was soon unintentionally losing weight; something I’m still battling with as I try to keep my food intake regular.
The goals of recovery are different for everyone. When it’s gaining or maintaining weight and correcting deficiencies that have been caused by this, the more in your diet: the merrier. This can be done in various ways and is tailored to each individual's needs. An example for me is when I told my dietitian I had been trying to eat carrots as a snack and, in order to increase my energy intake,she suggested I eat the carrots with a dip since carrots, although healthy, are not always enough on their own to give enough energy. Even things like cereal, which I have never been able to condone with milk, could possibly be mixed with yoghurt or eaten on the side. Something like this is so convenient, as it takes away the need to choose an additional snack and doesn’t leave you feeling unfulfilled by a singular snack.
Your body gets rid of everything you don’t need
I’m sure in school, or at some point in our lives, we have all been presented with ideas about unhealthy foods and the danger of chemicals and processed foods. These sorts of things TERRIFIED me for years- and I look back at I don’t really know why. I didn’t have a specific reason, I just saw something considered ‘over-processed’ and I would immediately steer myself away from it.
Whilst living on only processed food is not the most ideal way to go, having processed food from time to time won’t actually kill you! You may not gain certain nutrients you’re seeking but, a lot of time, you are always gaining something from food. Food will always have some sort of reward for your body, even if it’s tiny. When you have ARFID, eating needs to be made as easy as possible at times when food and sensory issues are overwhelming.
When you eat these foods and are worrying about ‘what is going inside you’, it is important to realise that your body’s function is to get rid of everything you don’t need.
That’s the reason we perform bodily functions like going to the bathroom and throwing up. For example, when you’ve had too much to drink, your body can’t handle it and that’s why you throw up. And, well, I’m not going to go into too much detail about the other function for obvious reasons. If it’s not obvious, ring me up and I’ll explain as much as you need me to.
If eating is something you find difficult, make it as convenient as possible
This tip pretty much ties in with all those mentioned above. Regardless of the food type, how natural or processed it is, or other different excuses- the prominent focus of ARFID is recovery and acceptance, making eating as accessible as possible. Before attempting to gain the right nutrients and creating an overall balanced diet, convenience is the focus.
If your ARFID includes executive functioning issues like meal preparation or task paralysis, things like ready-meals and pre-made food items are ready to become your best friend. For those who love to cook and are good at it, this may sound like death to their artistry and I AM SORRY for this. But for those of us who just want to eat and get the fuel we need to survive the day, this option is a lifesaver. Having three or four ready meals a week (or less or more) stacked in your freezer really is a massive reliever when you want to be getting enough food intake, but are feeling a bit too frozen to do it.
Another thing I rely on heavily for lunches is meal deals- like every other student in the UK! I currently can’t be bothered to make myself a sandwich or take out last night’s dinner in a tupperware to go. If I needed to, I likely would. But I often think about it rather than doing it, and eating food cold when it should be hot is something which currently slows down my eating, and ends up giving me the cue that I’m full when I’m not. I often feel chained to my house until lunchtime as a result of this, when I would like to go out earlier than 12. Meal deals help me in this situation, even if I feel guilt for buying them when they kind of end up costing the same amount I would spend on ingredients for an equivalent meal. However, they help me and often feel like a lifesaver, and I am learning that it’s okay to do this. When I want to start packing lunches, I will- but for now, this is good.
Creating an ideal space to eat
Whether it’s because of meal anxiety or the task of finishing a meal, many people with ARFID eat very slowly. When this has happened to me, I receive confusing hunger cues that tell me I’m full and can’t eat any further because I’ve been sitting with my food for a specific period of time. Then when I wash up, I’ll realise I’m still hungry but won’t know what to eat to amend this and end up going to bed hungry. That’s how it was as my problem progressed: every night, after dinner, starving- and I couldn’t understand why.
Some people need distractions, whilst others need to eliminate distractions. It may help to sit with only your meal in front of you and be focused primarily on the meal and finishing it. For others, sitting in front of TV or watching a video on their phone may help. Which approach you choose to take completely depends on what works for you.
Make sure you’re fond of all the food you’re eating- specifically at the beginning of recovery
It may sound obvious, but it took me a little while to realise that the food I was eating on a daily basis and had become accustomed to, I had actually become sick of. For some people with ARFID, trying new food is like being asked to turn a chainsaw on and not cry. Or if we’re thinking more realistically: using a matchbox. It’s so scary :(
In this case, I can only take from my own experience. During my worst times, I became avoidant and disgusted by everything from eggs to vegetables, and then anything of a very soft or ‘squishy’ state. So trying new things wasn’t easy and wasn’t really on my radar. It was finding things I had eaten in the past or was close to what I was eating now- and could tolerate- to establish a doable routine, but also to abolish foods I found were causing me distress.
Sometimes, it’s the most bizarre things you eat which make the biggest impact
Finally, the most important thing if your focus is getting to a healthier weight, maintaining weight or amending nutritional deficiencies, is that it’s not about what you’re eating at this stage, but by how much you’re eating. Eating is a small victory for some that deserves to be celebrated in these difficult times.
I have eaten popcorn for dinner on numerous occasions when I have felt defeated by the hunger and fatigue that this condition brings. When it’s too hard to eat, your energy becomes depleted and meal preparation becomes a nightmare in itself. When this has happened, it has also been because my fridge has been empty, I don’t live with people I would rely on, and there have been times I feel so weak that I can’t move from the couch. In these circumstances, I have Uber-Eat-ed my groceries. It’s not something I am necessarily proud of, but it works. That’s what this process is about. Finding out what works for you and what doesn’t.
At the end of the day, you can only eat what you can and what you’re comfortable with. If you are doubting yourself and your problems, I promise you you’re not imagining it. Trust your gut and if you need to talk to someone, allow yourself that support.
Support Networks
Samaritans: Call 116 123 for crisis support available 24/7 by trained volunteers
BEAT Eating Disorder Service: The UK’S Leading Eating Disorder Charity.
Shout: Crisis Text Message Service. Message “SHOUT” to 85258.
Purple Lantern Society: The University’s Official Student-Run Society for Neurodivergent Students
About The Author: Kearin Green (she/her)
Hi, I’m Kearin and I am the magazine’s Welfare Officer! I am a second year Film Production student and am currently committed to using our support platform to give mental health a louder voice at our university. I also write about cinema, political issues, humour pieces and whatever comes to mind.
(This piece was edited by Amber Turner-Brightman)
Comments