Written by Amber Turner-Brightman
This article is the first in a series of interviews with the societies of the University of Portsmouth. For this interview, I met with Chris and Polly, the President and Secretary of the Kink Society. Although there’s a lot of stigma surrounding the subject, we had a refreshingly open discussion about how they became involved in kink, its misconceptions, and their aims for the society.
How did you become involved with the Kink Society?
Chris: When I was looking at prospective universities to join, I checked out societies too, so when I noticed Portsmouth had a Fetish Society, I was drawn here. I wasn’t shy about joining their society either, so I went to their stall at Freshers’ Fayre and signed up. I was asked to be on the committee as it seemed like they could use some help. However, last year there wasn’t any organisation or communication from the old committee, or events being held. The society’s reputation was quite damaged, so this year I became president to re-establish the society and make it something people want to join. I have a lot of ideas!
Polly: I wanted to educate myself about kink and learn more. I’d never spoken to others about it before and I wasn’t very involved, so this was my first step into talking to people about it. I was shy at first about others finding out I’d joined, but it was lowkey enough that it didn’t scare me away and I got to know others in kink.
This year you rebranded from Fetish Society to Kink Society- how does kink differ from fetish and why is that important?
Polly: Definitionally, fetish is inherently sexual: it’s a psychological arousal by a certain object or body part. That makes it very different from kink even though the terms are often used interchangeably. Kink involves a lot more. It’s more than just sexual wants and it’s not inherently sexual, it’s things you like and desire. The term is a lot more inclusive.
Chris: If you think about it, on TikTok, kinktoc exists and fetishtoc doesn’t. People ask if you’re kinky, not if you’re fetishy. Kink is a lot more common and positive as a term. People are put off by the word fetish. Last year, people just thought we had orgies and did sexual things, but kink isn’t inherently sexual. It’s an umbrella term, it encompasses everything.
Chris practising Shibari, Japanese rope bondage
Is that what your umbrella logo represents?
Chris: Kink is an umbrella term. We’re also an all-inclusive society, open to all people of all sexualities, genders, and ages over 18. An umbrella also protects you and gives you a safe space, without discrimination or judgement. I came up with the first pencil sketch, but our logo was designed by Polly!
Your bio mentions SSC and NMIK. What do these stand for and why are they important?
Chris: SSC stands for safe, sane, and consensual. Basically, all practices explored and activities in kink are safe, the environment is safe, and the people are safe. People always assume kink justifies extreme practices, but everyone is a consenting adult and there are no illegal, insane, or criminal practices in kink.
Polly: Everyone is enthusiastic, sober, and consenting.
Chris: NMIK links to SSC. It’s simple really, no minors in kink. Anyone can join our society but it’s like going to a pub, you have to be 18.
Are there any misconceptions about kink you’d like to dispel?
Chris: [Laughs] How much time do we have?
Polly: Kink is not inherently sexual, and even when it is, it’s not wrong or bad. It’s about exploring yourself. Everyone has something non-standard and that’s the wonder in it, everyone is a bit weird and that should be embraced. There’s no point in being miserable, you should indulge in the things you enjoy. Life is too short! It’s healthy to explore your sexuality and what makes you tick, as long as it’s legal and consensual. You should live life the way you want it.
Chris: What people who aren’t in the kink community don’t realise is that we value safety and consent incredibly highly. The kink community is driven by safety and consent, especially with BDSM scenes (when two or more consenting adults agree to engage in BDSM practices). People who aren’t in the kink scene don’t seem to value safety and consent as highly - they need educational videos about tea to teach them about consent!
Polly: Kink is about all parties involved, consenting enthusiastically to something they want. This leads to better communication, which is why it’s important to have spaces like this.
Chris: We’re very progressive, more than the rest of general society and more than people think. Some people don’t want to be associated with kink, although the people who are, are often more open-minded and mature.
Polly: My first munch [a casual meetup for people interested in kink, often held in a pub] was the most respectful group of people I’ve ever met. Everyone was asking for consent to touch and to hug.
Chris: People also assume you sleep around a lot when you’re into kink, when you might be monogamous or not be sexually active.
Polly: It’s not a big orgy and we’re not all having sex with each other, it’s much more than that. People of all dynamics are part of the community. You can be monogamous in kink!
Chris: Kink is a space for everyone. We’re not forcing you to be kinky, just come and meet open-minded and interesting people. There’s so much you can learn from kink in terms of consent, safety, and communication.
Polly: People don’t have to be kinky to join. It’s beneficial because we have safety and consent talks and workshops.
Chris: We also want to encourage more women to come! Kink isn’t a male dominated space, and nor should our society be.
Are you planning any events?
Chris: We’ll be at Fresher’s Fayre and we’re planning a barbecue that first weekend. It’ll be a non-intimidating, safe environment to be social and ask questions. We’re also planning workshops and talks with kink educators, like an open ‘kink 101’ talk which will be very basic and focus on safety and consent. It’s not necessarily just for kinky people, the information can be applied to everything. As well we’re planning a Shibari (Japanese rope bondage) workshop because there’s a lot involved when it comes to rope, and it can be dangerous when done wrong.
Polly: We’ll also have casual rope classes, just to meet up and practice. It’ll be an easy space to learn more and keep up your skills! Rope is like any skill and it’s not inherently sexual. I see it more as a form of art, it’s very pretty.
Chris: In art people use different materials: pencils, paintbrushes, canvases. Rope is one of those. It’s a creative, expressionistic hobby to have! Or it can be kept private in the bedroom, it’s up to you. We’ll also do Purple Wednesday once a month.
Polly: With dress up themes!
Chris: And we’re planning a costume Halloween party at the end of October. Basically, we’re aiming to have something every week, if it’s a Purple Wednesday, a talk, a casual social, or a rope workshop.
What would someone’s first time at Kink Society look like?
Polly: Very casual, friendly, and accepting. It’s a safe space where everyone is welcome and safeguarded.
Chris: Anyone open-minded and non-judgemental is welcome!
Why would you encourage people to try out Kink Society?
Chris: [Laughs] It’s free!
Polly: There’s not one demographic who should come, whoever wants to learn more or whoever is interested is welcome. It’s a lowkey, safe space to come and say what you want without judgement. It’s all about being accepted and learning new things.
Chris: Whether you’re kinky or not kinky, introverted or extroverted, it’s a place to come and make friends. Just do it- what have you got to lose? You can learn something new and meet new, incredible people you may otherwise not get a chance to interact with.
Polly: Leave any stigmas or stereotypes surrounding kink you may have at the door and get ready to learn something new and have a good time in the process!
Kink Society is free to join for all UoP students over the age of 18. You can sign up via their Union page or find more information on their Instagram page.
About the Author: Amber Turner-Brightman (they/them)
Hi, I'm Amber, EIC! I'm an MA Journalism student with an undergraduate degree in Politics and International Relations. I'm particularly interested in current affairs and societal trends.
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