Written by Kearin Green
Imagine a film about teenage girls (actually played by teenage actors) who don’t give a shit about anything, wear whatever they want, say whatever they want, are in a band that isn’t very good; and break down the boundaries of their 1980s American town where the protagonist claims ‘everybody is dead’. This is Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains (1982).
Marin Kanter, Diane Lane, and Laura Dern as The Fabulous Stains (1980)
The film, which turned 40 this year, stars then-teenage acclaimed actresses: Oscar nominee Diane Lane and Oscar winner Laura Dern. Lane, in a star-is-born performance, plays recently orphaned high school dropout Corrine ‘Third Degree’ Burns. After she loses her job as a ‘teenage chef’ because of her obnoxious and feisty attitude, she only has one purpose: she is the lead singer of her bad band The Fabulous Stains, which she is in with her sister, Tracy (Marin Kanter) and her cousin, Jessica (Dern, who was 13 and specifically emancipated from her mother to travel to Canada to make the film).
The girls- bored, broke, and unemployed in their miserable town- attend a life-changing British punk gig, where Corrine convinces the band (played by The Sex Pistols) to let The Fabulous Stains join their tour, although they have only practiced three times. They become an iconic teenage-girl punk rock band who tell the audience they’re suckers; have iconic riot grlll skunk hairdos; and wear high heels, tights, and see-through tops, whilst telling the audience they ‘don’t put out’. My favourite moment is when Corrine tells a conservative news anchor that she believes every citizen should be given an electric guitar for her sixteenth birthday.
The film was an absolute box office bomb, being released in 1982 to disappointing screenings which left it floating around arthouse cinemas. Disagreement between director Lou Adler and screenwriter Nancy Dowd about the ending of the film led Dowd to replace her name in the credits with a male pseudonym, and disown the film when she was groped by a crew member on set. The end of the film shows a music video which was filmed two years after principal photography, in which the three main actors are unrecognisable. Lane has matured, resembling the Diane Lane we all know today, who made divorce look cute and cheated on Richard Gere, probably because their child ended up being Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle. Dern is much taller and is ready to slay (and be tortured by David Lynch for years to come).
Diane Lane as Corrine ‘Third Degree’ Burns.
I personally love this film. I don’t believe it’s a masterpiece by filmmaking standards, but I love it because it has an aesthetic. It has the Lane, it has the Dern, it has the angry teenage feminist girls- it is just ICONIC. Personally, watching the protagonists reject everything society wants them to conform to as young women sincerely makes me want to have the grit they have. And it turns out I’m not the only one.
The film has been a massive influence for many punk rock artists. British pop rock icon Kate Nash styled the riot grlll look of her 2013 album, Girl Talk, completely after Corrine Burns. Courtney Love and Jon Bon Jovi have admitted to being massive fans of the film. Kathleen Hanna of girl punk rock band Bikini Kill admitted in an interview that when it came to the formation of their band, they wanted to be like The Fabulous Stains, ‘but even more overtly feminist.’ And have you seen this essential Tumblr ‘I am a very depressed’ girlie below? Well, the scene is from the opening credits of the film. You’ll find it if you type in ‘aesthetic cigarette quotes’ and scroll far enough, and you will be reminded of the trauma of being 13 in 2015.
In spite of the praise and cult status the film has garnered, which it rightfully deserves, it has also had its controversies. One being that this feminist essential film was directed by a man and again, undermined the woman who wrote the screenplay, Nancy Dowd. This becomes obvious in one of the scenes, where there are many close-up shots of the young girls’ thighs. In 2008, Diane Lane revealed that she was pretty much forced into filming a shower scene (declared as the first nude scene) despite only being 15. She mentioned this when her daughter had just turned the age she was during filming, and said that looking back, she couldn’t help but feel weird about the situation. A band member from the film also admitted that ‘everybody thought that underage Lane was gorgeous and everyone on set wanted to get her into bed’.
Although the actions behind the film can't be condoned, the special thing about Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains is the foundation it has set for the modern idea of ‘girl power’. It was made during a time where punk rock singers were seen as leeches in society, yet it was made anyway. Every girl, woman, guy, person- whoever they are- comes out of this film wanting to be a Fabulous Stain. To have the confidence to defy an entire generation in charge of you, literally just by being the baddest bitch in the room.
If I had to go back to being 15, just for a day or so, I think I would spend it pretending to be Corrine Burns. Personally, I think we all would.
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Fabulous Stains is available to rent and buy on multiple platforms. Check JustWatch to see where you can watch it.
About The Author: Kearin Green (she/her)
Hi, I’m Kearin and I am the magazine’s Welfare Officer! I am a second year Film Production student and am currently committed to using our support platform to give mental health a louder voice at our university. I also write about cinema, political issues, humour pieces and whatever comes to mind.
(This piece was edited by Amber Turner-Brightman)
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