Written by Amber Turner-Brightman
For this interview I met with Nathan, President of the Estranged Students Society. We discussed life as an estranged student, the support which is on offer, and what others can do to help.
For anyone who might be unfamiliar, what is an estranged student?
An estranged student is basically a student who comes to university with no support from parents, carers, or guardians, and with no chance of the relationship ever coming back together. This process can also happen whilst they're at university.
How did you become involved in Estranged Students Soc?
I joined university back in September 2020 and went the first couple of months without knowing the society existed, and it was quite a lonely experience, I won’t lie. So I went ahead and emailed James- who’s the point of contact for estranged students- and he sent me the link to the Discord and the Union Groups page and said, ‘try to join this!’ I joined, met other people through it, and I decided to become the president after my second year.
The Estranged Students Society logo
What support does the society offer and what activities do you get up to?
For support, we tend to talk to each other about literally anything, like if an issue crops up in a person’s personal life or something happens within the university because they’re estranged, we’ll very much try and signpost them to help within the university, or if we can, offer our own advice from personal experience, say ‘we tried this and it helped, you can try it out’. If not, we can talk to James about it or get them support from outside the university as well. We try to make our activities as varied as possible because we’re very aware some activities might trigger or upset certain people. So we do bake offs, we’ve done Christmas dinners in the past, we’ve done a few drinking socials too. Games nights, video game nights, board game nights… Just general outings so people get to know each other. We’re thinking about doing study socials this year too.
Are there any resources estranged students can access for support outside of the society?
If there’s any financial issues, if Student Finance England have declared you an estranged student, you can access bursaries at the uni. Unite Students have a housing scholarship scheme as well, so you can get free housing in halls. There’s obviously Student Summer Funds, and other funds within the university as well- because we’re estranged students, they’re aware we are more likely to apply, but it is very much still tested. Those are the main sources of support really. There is a lot of wellbeing support too. We get access to at least one person from the Student Wellbeing Service, and we get unlimited sessions as well.
You mentioned James as well- is he the main point of contact within the university?
Yes, James Quinn. He deals with estranged students, so if we have any major issues, we go to him. He will very much stick in our corner and fight it out on our behalf, which is very nice. We do really appreciate it.
What is your experience as an estranged student, and how has the society helped you?
Initially when I joined, the society wasn’t formed yet, but I had a really good flat in first year. When everyone was asking where we were all from and if we have any siblings, I tended to go quite quiet, so luckily people clocked that something wasn’t quite right. It was very lonely and isolating though, because I felt like I was the only one stuck in those circumstances compared to everyone else I knew. By the time the society came about and I joined it, it was like ‘oh my god, there are other people like me!’- which sounds weird, but when you’re stuck in a situation where you can’t get parental support or generally any support outside of yourself, it’s nice to talk to people and to get support from each other. Since joining it’s been a lot better, because I’ve had issues crop up and I’ve talked to people about it, people have given me suggestions, I’ve given them suggestions, and it’s just nice to know there’s someone else in the same situation. The university now knows we’re a thing too.
Has Covid exacerbated issues faced by estranged students?
Yeah, massively. I know loads of estranged students, outside of the university as well, who have said that it’s really fucked their finances. Obviously, after university, if you’re not doing a Master’s, you have to find your own place to live. Because of Covid people have had to dig into their savings, and they’re worried they might not find a place to live after university and they might have to contact emergency housing, which isn’t always guaranteed. It has really made financial issues a lot more apparent to a lot of us, and it’s quite scary. We’re supported now, but if things keep going the way they are, we might be in quite a lot of trouble. Unfortunately, after you finish there’s not much the university can do, because you’re no longer a student. Realistically the most they can do is offer you financial advice or signpost emergency housing and cheaper housing.
Is there anything you wish people knew about being an estranged student?
I get that some people have never heard of estranged students. I didn’t hear about it until I applied for Student Finance before university, and even then, I didn’t understand it. But I feel like it’s not so much that we don’t have any contact with parents, caregivers, and guardians as such. That is the case for some people, but it could very much just mean very low contact for safety reasons. If your parents or caregivers just aren’t going to support you, you can still be classed as estranged, because you still don’t have the support which realistically everyone is looking for, and there is a clear breakdown within the relationship.
Can non-estranged students do anything to be more active and help?
I think just generally try to understand some of the reasons behind why some people become estranged. I’ve told people before that I’m estranged and the first thing they tend to ask is why. Nine times out of ten, most people don’t want to actually begin to explain why they became estranged, because it’s quite a personal matter. Being estranged is going to affect anyone in any capacity, and depending on the circumstances, it can be really difficult to talk about. There’s a lot of shame associated with it. I also think in general, if someone is struggling, try to help them out when you can and when you feel able to. That’s the main thing- just be there for us.
About the Author: Amber Turner-Brightman (they/them)
Hi, I'm Amber, co-EIC! I'm an MA Journalism student with an undergraduate degree in Politics and International Relations. I'm particularly interested in current affairs and societal trends.
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